I Love A Parade

I can pretty much add Friday and Monday to my crappy day list and neither day had anything to do with the fax machine. Wait I take that back the copier software guy did come out Monday but that is another story in itself.

This past Saturday the Parade of Homes started. I broke the first cardinal rule in the homebuilding business. "Thou shalt not go out of town during the Parade." I went on our class retreat this past weekend and oops plan to be gone this weekend too. Not my fault Coldplay decided to have a concert during the Parade. This is one of my most frustrating times of the year. You have to select your home for the parade 9 months in advance so half the time you end up selling the home you have entered. Now I realize this is my paycheck and I shouldn't complain but COME ON! Changing parade homes is the biggest pain in the rear and the COHBA (Central Oklahoma Homebuilders Association) never gets it right. (Can I get an Amen from the marketing director of Ideal Homes.) Last year the Association kept putting our parade sign at the wrong house. The poor homeowners kept calling us to have it moved. We moved it. Called the Association to tell them they had screwed up and to tell them that we had moved it to the correct location and the next day it was back in the wrong yard. Brillant.

Most people come out to the parade not to buy but to just look at expensive houses or get decorating ideas. I have learned over the years that a decorating cheat sheet is a must. I have the decorator type up a list of all the paint colors, tile, carpet etc...It is the most useful marketing tool we have. One time a couple came through and liked the carpet. Upon opening the hall closet(because that is what people do as well. Open every door or cabinet)they found an small unused portion of carpet. They asked if they could take it with them so they could look at it overnight and determine if they still liked the color. I said sure because there really wasn't enough there to do anything but carpet a home for Barbie and true to their word they came back the next day with the carpet in hand.

My all time favorite parade story is the story of the Parade Make Out Couple. This couple comes into the home and they can't keep their hands off of each other. Common practice when working a parade home is to not stalk people as they tour through your home. Station yourself in a central location and they will eventually come to you with questions. So this couple is walking through the house and I can hear them giggling and being all lovey dovey. I am camped out in the kitchen minding my own business when they walk into the kitchen go over to the pantry and open the door. This particular home had a huge pantry. They get all giggly again and this is what he says in is what I can only assume is his best sexy voice. "Wow, baby! Look at the size of this pantry. This is where I am going to put you when you are bad." EEEEEWWWWWWWWW. It was like be trapped in a Parade of Homes Porno.

After the office heard this story they decided to change the plan name from the Ashely to the Love Pantry Plan and I have learned to stay out of the kitchen. The study is much cleaner.