The Best Float Trip Ever

This past weekend was my annual "I don't want to go, but I know I will have fun once I am there float trip." This year in particular, I really couldn't find the energy to make myself want to go. Enter Lindsy. Were it not for her persistent badgering for the past month I probably would have stayed home and still have miky white skin. I should have know this weekend would have been anything but boring, but what I didn't know is that most of my excitement would happen before I even set foot on the raging Illinois River.

The Lawn Stalker: Friday night I got home from work and discovered that my lawn had been mowed. I called my brother-in-law who on occasion has taken pity on me and mowed my lawn. He told me that he didn't do it. What makes this story so interesting is that this is not the first time this has happened. I apparently have a secret admirer who chooses to show his affection by mowing my lawn. Fine by me. Whatever makes you happy dude. If you really loved me you would weed my flower beds.

I'm Not Moving: After noticing my lawn was mowed and discovering it was not Byron, I proceed to the mailbox and my neighbor across the street comes over and asks me if I am moving. I am not sure why this man is so scared that I am moving. This being the 2nd time that he has asked me about moving. I told him that I was not moving. Then he asked if I was getting more insurance. At this point, I am starting to think this guy is getting really nosy. I told him that I was not getting more insurance. He got this real serious look on his face and told me that on Monday he saw some man taking pictures of my house. Great! My neighbor was very relieved that I was not moving but didn't seem concerned by the fact that I was now completely creeped out by the peeping tom taking pictures of my house. Thanks Neighbor!

Speeding: Now that I was completely freaked out by the lawn and the peeping tom is was time to leave for the float trip. I was riding with Lindsy, Stacey, and Kevin. We had a fabulous time until Lindsy got pulled over for speeding in a construction zone just outside of Broken Arrow. I am surprised they didn't haul her off to jail the way we were all laughing. The cop seemed very surprised that none of us noticed it was a construction zone. When he asked Lindsy why she was in such a hurry she flat out told him it was because we were going floating. He took her back to his car and gave her a warning. Last year it was a flat tire with Stacey and this year it's chit chatting with the cops with Lindsy. Never a dull moment.

Floating: SPF 45 my foot. I might as well have just slathered myself in Criso. I got RED. I don't think we could have asked for more perfect floating conditions. This year was a true float trip which might explain why it took us 3 hours to get to the halfway point (6 miles). I would personally like to thank the people in my boat because I didn't have to do a dog on thing! It was the most relaxing float trip EVER! We actually spent most of it out of the boat just using our life jackets as a floating device. That was until Lindsy got propositioned by a couple of drunk cowboys in a canoe who had been watching her backside float down the river for a few miles and requested that she keep it up for a few more. Eck! Sorry, Lindsy, I still say no on the double dating, but thanks for thinking of me.

Thanks Lindsy for making me go. It was the Best Float Trip Ever!