Iron Chef
Last night I was having trouble sleeping so I was watching Iron Chef America on the Food Network. I love the Food Network(I hope that doesn’t make me a domestic nerd). For those of you out there that aren’t as nerdy as me, I will give you a brief rundown on the Iron Chef competition. It actually started out as an Oriental show and if you watch these episodes it is stinking hilarious. They translate to English so it’s like the bad “B” Movies where the speaking doesn’t match the lip action. There is always a secret ingredient and the chefs never know what that is until right before the competition. Later they decided to invite the Americans to join against their Iron Chef’s and finally they let the American compete against each other and Iron Chef America was born.
Last night was Bobby Flay vs. Rick Bayless. It’s usually an American Iron Chef (Bobby Flay) vs. your ordinary restaurant chef (Rick Bayless). The secret ingredient was BUFFLAO! Ohhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! So, I was watching this and a few thought were running through my mind. I always wonder what the chef are thinking when they see the secret ingredient. Are they thinking, “Oh man! Squid! What am I supposed to do with squid! Or “How am I supposed to make a dessert out of clams!” Then I also wonder what the judge’s think when they have to eat some of this food. What you don’t see behind the scenes is the judges throwing up in the barf buckets under the table. Trust me….If you gave me cold fish head soup, I would be puking!
Then I decided that I would contact the Food Network with my own show idea.
IRON CHEF ORDINARY PERSON
Take 2 ordinary people and have them cook a meal. I think it would go something like this:
Dish #1: Macaroni and Cheese.
“Well Bob, today I am going to make Macaroni and Cheese, but I am going to spice it up a little. Instead of making it in the microwave with margarine and 2% milk, I am going to actually boil water and make it the hard way. I will also use real butter to give it that richer flavor and let’s throw caution to the wind and use whole milk. I think the judges will find this isn’t your ordinary Macaroni and Cheese dish!”
Dish #2: Tuna Sandwich
“For this dish, I am going to start out with a can of tuna in spring water. I always use spring water tuna. I think it has a better flavor. To this tuna I am going to add some mayonnaise, pickles, egg. I will mix that all up and then to top it off I am going to take these 2 slices of Wonder Bread and lightly toast them. Garnish with a few Doritios and I think we have a winner."
Dish #3. Meals in Minutes
“I found the most amazing thing the other day Bob. They have meals in a bag. You just put the contents of the bag in a skillet and it literally cooks itself. Today we are preparing Orange Chicken and Rice with Vegetables. I am going to take a skillet, add water, pour the contents of this package in the skillet, put the lid on and forget about it.”
Dish #5. ??????????????
“I couldn’t think of anything to make for this one so I just decided to scramble an egg, with a side of Fruity Pebbles cereal.”
Dish #6: Pudding
“Bob, I think this is what is going to win it for me. I didn’t have any of the pre-made, pull the lid back pudding so I hope I have time to get this done. I am feeling the pressure. I am going to take this pitcher of milk and add it to my pudding mix. Stir it with my stainless steel wisk and then pour it into the dishes. Top it with a little whip cream and I’m done. Whew, that was close.”
I sent my letter off this morning. Hopefully they will contact me soon to sign my contracts.
Last night was Bobby Flay vs. Rick Bayless. It’s usually an American Iron Chef (Bobby Flay) vs. your ordinary restaurant chef (Rick Bayless). The secret ingredient was BUFFLAO! Ohhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! So, I was watching this and a few thought were running through my mind. I always wonder what the chef are thinking when they see the secret ingredient. Are they thinking, “Oh man! Squid! What am I supposed to do with squid! Or “How am I supposed to make a dessert out of clams!” Then I also wonder what the judge’s think when they have to eat some of this food. What you don’t see behind the scenes is the judges throwing up in the barf buckets under the table. Trust me….If you gave me cold fish head soup, I would be puking!
Then I decided that I would contact the Food Network with my own show idea.
IRON CHEF ORDINARY PERSON
Take 2 ordinary people and have them cook a meal. I think it would go something like this:
Dish #1: Macaroni and Cheese.
“Well Bob, today I am going to make Macaroni and Cheese, but I am going to spice it up a little. Instead of making it in the microwave with margarine and 2% milk, I am going to actually boil water and make it the hard way. I will also use real butter to give it that richer flavor and let’s throw caution to the wind and use whole milk. I think the judges will find this isn’t your ordinary Macaroni and Cheese dish!”
Dish #2: Tuna Sandwich
“For this dish, I am going to start out with a can of tuna in spring water. I always use spring water tuna. I think it has a better flavor. To this tuna I am going to add some mayonnaise, pickles, egg. I will mix that all up and then to top it off I am going to take these 2 slices of Wonder Bread and lightly toast them. Garnish with a few Doritios and I think we have a winner."
Dish #3. Meals in Minutes
“I found the most amazing thing the other day Bob. They have meals in a bag. You just put the contents of the bag in a skillet and it literally cooks itself. Today we are preparing Orange Chicken and Rice with Vegetables. I am going to take a skillet, add water, pour the contents of this package in the skillet, put the lid on and forget about it.”
Dish #5. ??????????????
“I couldn’t think of anything to make for this one so I just decided to scramble an egg, with a side of Fruity Pebbles cereal.”
Dish #6: Pudding
“Bob, I think this is what is going to win it for me. I didn’t have any of the pre-made, pull the lid back pudding so I hope I have time to get this done. I am feeling the pressure. I am going to take this pitcher of milk and add it to my pudding mix. Stir it with my stainless steel wisk and then pour it into the dishes. Top it with a little whip cream and I’m done. Whew, that was close.”
I sent my letter off this morning. Hopefully they will contact me soon to sign my contracts.
posted by Suzy @ 7:30 AM
6 Comments:
Add spaghetti sauce to your macaroni and cheese. That will leave you with a dish you won't soon forget!
That would be one of those barf bucket moments. I was going to put something in there about that but decided no to reveal to the whole world that you tried spaghetti sauce on macaroni, but since you brought it up....YUCK!
this really random, but i like to dip raw hot dogs into mayonnaise. mmm mmm good.
Actually it tasted like barf!
And, anonymous, I like to wrap a raw hotdog in a slice of cheese and put mustard on it and eat it cold! Now that's good! =)
You both as asking for some nasty stomach thing to happen eating raw hotdogs! Cooked I can handle if I don't think about what I'm eating but raw. That's just NASTY and asking for a trip to the emergency room!
I finally watched the Iron Chef last night for the first time with Melissa. The secret ingredient was sweet onions. If you gave me that secret ingredient, we would have problems. Definately glad I didn't have to taste any of it. I also learned what sweet breads are. Let's just say that they're not bread and I hope I NEVER have to eat one.
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