Four out of Five Dentist

I had a dentist appointment Tuesday afternoon. I wish I could have written about it yesterday while it was fresh in my mind but alas, this has been a HORRIBLE week and I didn't get a chance. I have gone to my dentist for 10 years and I love him (strictly in the Dr. sense of course). My hygienist however shall we say, dances to the beat of her own drum. What should be a 20 minute appointment always turns into an hour or more. She is a Talker with a capital "T"! Here are the topics that we covered during my appointment yesterday.
(I might add that she literally takes the suction thing out of my mouth and talks. The she puts it back for 5 seconds and then takes it back out again for another comment. Very frustrating and tiring on the jaw.)

The Mink Coat: When I arrive yesterday I hung my jacket on the hook next to a mink coat which I found out belonged to her. She told me now that she finally had a mink she was going to wear it everywhere. It was at least 50 degrees on Tuesday but she wore it anyway. She says she wears it to work, the grocery store, to shovel snow (our 1 day of snow we had), etc...She said that she even let a high school kid borrow it to wear to a Halloween party. He went as a pimp of course.

Movies: Then she asked me if I had seen any good movies lately. I told her I had seen The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe a while back. She told me she didn't want to see it because Aslin dies (movie spoiler if you don't know the books). I tried to tell her that it didn't matter it still ended OK. Didn't make a difference to her, she knew an animal died and she didn't want to see it, but then she turns around and tells me she wants to see King Kong. Hmmmmm....Then I told her I saw Tristan and Isolde. She really didn't know anything about that movie so she didn't have much to say on that. Thank goodness. Then she told me that her latest obsession was the movie Phantom of the Opera. She said she watched it 9 times last weekend and was excited that she had the next day off which meant even more play time for the Phantom. Yikes! That's a lot.

Weekend Plans: She asked me if I had any plans for this weekend. I told her I had a lot going on last weekend so I was hoping this weekend would be much calmer. She told me that she hated getting out on the weekends. She only got her car out of the garage if she had too. This led to the next topic....

Wal-Mart: She had to go to Wal-Mart to exchange a DVD series she had gotten her daughter for Christmas. Instead of having Disc 1, Disc 2, and Disc 3, it had Disc 1, Disc2 and Dics 2. It actually took her longer to explain this but I am sparing you all from most of the details. While at Wal-Mart she decided to do her grocery shopping, so she ended up being in the store for a long time. Her dog wanted to go with her so she left him in the car and she was sure he was bored, but since the weather was nice she took him because he doesn't have much of a chance to get out in the winter time. Wow. By this time I was extremely annoyed.

Suicide: Next she asked me if I heard about the lawyer that had committed suicide by jumping off a parking garage downtown. I said no I hadn't heard anything about that she told me that if she was going to commit suicide that she wouldn't do it that way. Doing it that way would give you too much time to change your mind. She said she would take pills or stick a hose in her exhaust pipe. OH MY STARS!

After this cleaning I was praying for a cavity just so I could have some laughing gas and put me out of my misery.

By the way....no cavities in case you were wondering.