Can I Get A Valium Over Here

Susan, Stacey and I had an interesting conversation about Valium yesterday. It didn't start off about Valium, but somehow the conversation turned and as soon as our e-mail conversation turned to Valium, Stacey's server started blocking Susan's e-mails. Now that is one high powered spam monitor that will block a reliable source just because the word Valium is included. It's not like it's even a "hard core" prescription drub. Although, I am not sure what I would classify as a "hard core" prescription drug. I don't think I have every been prescribed one unless you can count a Z-PAC. By the end of this conversation it was decided that I needed to take a Valium before a meeting we were all attending that night. After that conversation, I feel compelled to share my Valium story (of course I have a Valium story...you don't) and the reason why Valium is not my "relax drug" of choice.

A few years ago I had to have an MRI of my head. My mom was in town so she took me to my appointment since I was a nervous wreck. I'm sorry, but having your whole body inserted into a tube the size of a straw is not pleasant for any length of time and my MRI was scheduled for a 2 hour stint in the straw. We show up for my appointment and they tell us the machine is broken. Not good. They tell us to come back around 7 p.m. and they should have the machine working. Should...Did I just hear the words should? Not exactly comforting if you ask me. So we show back up at 7 and now I am even more nervous. The MRI guy says "we have your chart and it says here that you will probably need something to relax you so her is A (meaning 1) Valium." I looked at the Valium then at him and said "do I only get one?" He says, "let's start with that and if you need another one you can have a half of another one." He obviously didn't understand my question. I didn't ask for a half, I wanted a whole other one. He won't budge so, I take the pill and he escorts me back to the changing room. By this time I have decided that I am not feeling relaxed enough and I start demanding my other half of a Valium. He tells me to wait and starts asking me all kinds of questions. For the life of me I can't answer half of them. I mean easy questions like How old are you? Stuff like that. Then I get the giggles. Then he leaves and I am supposed to change into the gown he has left me. I somehow in that process manage to pull the entire changing room curtain down. This is followed by me trying to fix it and then finally the guy coming over and telling me to just leave it. I manage to make it through the first part of the test and then they have to bring me back out of the straw sized tube and inject a dye into my system. The tech tries to find a vein and he is having no luck. I really don't know how many times he stuck me. He kept asking me if he could try here or here. and I was like, sure, whatever. He never did find a vein which meant coming back the next day when they had a nurse on duty. How inconvenient but, OK. I didn't care. They let me leave under the close watch of my mom and she drove me home. The next day she told me I was higher than a kite. She said she could hear me laughing and talking non-stop clear in the waiting room. She said she felt very sorry for the MRI tech but at least it sounded like I was having a good time.

Good thing the guy didn't give into my demands for another pill. Who knows how long it would have taken me to come down!