Butt After Today I Won't Use Public Restrooms

I have the Today Show on every morning while I am getting ready for work. I don't usually get to see that much of the show and this week they began my favorite recurring series "Where in the World is Matt Lauer." The week they air this series is when I become a Today Show geek. I record it each morning so I can watch him talk about the cool exotic places he is and to try and figure out where he is going the next day.

Late last night after I got home, I am watching what I recorded and I decided that the Today Show may have stooped to an all time low. Katie Couric was interviewing a guy who is suing Home Depot for 3 million dollars. His case....on Halloween he was Home Depot and got a "sour stomach" (his exact words) and had to use the facilities at Home Depot. He tried to use a liner but the Home Depot restroom was out so he decided to sit down anyway and start doing his business (again his words). He noticed after a while that he couldn't lift his legs and that he was stuck to the toilet seat. They later discovered that someone as a Halloween joke had gone into the men's restroom and lined the seat with super glue.

These are some of the reason his lawyer gave for them suing.

#1. Home Depot did not maintain their restroom. They should have made sure there were toilet liners available. My Argument: Have you seen those liners. They are so thin that I don't think 10 of them lining the seat would have saved this guy. Plus, everyone knows if you really, really want a liner and they are out use toilet paper. Still don't think it would have helped. Then he would have just had a toilet seat plus paper stuck to his tush.

#2. He claims that the Home Depot employee who entered the restroom didn't believe him and was unhelpful. My Argument: Even I'm not sure I would believe someone who is sitting in a restroom stall telling me that they are glued to their toilet seat on Halloween Night. Granted it's not April Fool's day but as far as prank days go Halloween definitely ranks up there.

#3. Pain and Suffering. They were unable to remove him from the seat and had to take him to the hospital with the toilet seat still stuck to his backside. He says he lost skin on his backside and has had to see a counselor to deal with the trauma. My Argument: If you are so traumatized then stop telling your story on national television. I might be able to deal with the employees at Home Depot knowing but not the whole entire international population. I seriously thought Katie Couric was going to lose it.

Now, maybe this guy is entitled to something but in my opinion it is not 3 million dollars. How on earth do you put a value on a toilet seat being glued to your butt. Do you compare notes with other people who have had the same experience. Do you take into account your traveling expenses for all your National TV interviews. Do you take into account the start up money for your WEBSITE!!!!! Yes folks he has a website and coffee mugs with the address on them.

Unfortunately I didn't have any paper handy to write down the address, but trust me if I can find out where to get the mugs my brother is getting one for Christmas.