A Case of Mistaken Identity

Last week I received something in the mail. You know how you can look at a piece of mail and generally know from looking at the outside that it’s junk mail or a bank statement or a bill and of course it’s very easy to spot a wedding invitation. So when I opened my mailbox and saw a wedding invitation I knew something was wrong. Here is what led me to this conclusion:

1. I don’t know anyone getting married right now. I mean, I know there is always the rouge person out there that could be getting married and sending me an invitation but generally, I know when I’m about to receive such an invitation.

2. It was address to Aunt Suzanne and the Aunt Suzanne part and my last name and address were written in different colors of ink so I know putting my last name on the invitation was a last minute thing.

3. I can assure you that none of my nephews are of marrying age and since my niece isn’t even born yet I can safely say I should not be receiving an wedding invitation address to Aunt Suzanne. Furthermore, I doubt any of them even know my official name is Suzanne and even if they did I would not let them call me that. That name is reserved for my mother when she’s angry or for signing checks.

4. The return address was from Mustang. I don’t know anyone but the Graham family in Mustang and no offense to any of the Graham sisters but I know none of them are getting married.

5. On the back was hand written these words “Sorry it’s late!” I bet they are not half as sorry as I am. Won’t they be surprised when I don’t even show up and when the real Aunt Suzanne writes her out of the will for not receiving a wedding invitation.

After observing all of that the real fun began when I opened the invitation:

1. I don’t know who these people are. I don’t recognize the names at all. Either one, bride or groom.

2. One side was your usual invitation with names and dates the other side was a picture of the happy couple. I didn’t know them with a picture.

3. No offense to the happy bride to be but I would not be wearing what I was wearing and plastering it all over my wedding invitations. Nor would I send out a picture of me wearing what she was wearing and kissing my fiancé or who I would at least assume was her fiancé since I DON’T KNOW THEM!

4. This Aunt would not approve of the guy you were kissing so it’s probably a good thing your real aunt did not receive her invitation.

5. Her last and final mistake was that she was only registered at Kohl’s. Every bride knows the more place you register the more gifts you will get.

I’m thinking of logging on and seeing what they registered for. Maybe I will send them a toaster or something from their favorite Aunt Suzanne!