Welcome to the Medical Offices of Suz & Sus

Susan and Sarah work for Hobby Lobby or as I like to call it Disney Land. You might also be able to call it Willy Wonka's Candy Factory based on their conversations on how their bathroom smells like bubble gum. Regardless of what you call it, it really makes you want to work there, but after our conversation yesterday, I have decided that Susan and I need to start a medical practice. After all, when it comes to our health we know our own bodies best and therefore we know the best way to handle our ailments.

Medical Problem #1. Susan mentions to me that she thinks she has heart burn, but that she has never really had heartburn before so she doesn't really know. I told her that I have never really had heartburn before either but usually anything that starts in the chest makes me automatically think heart attack. We were able to rule this out because in her exact words "I might think it's a heart attack except that the annoyance is in the back of my throat and kind of tastes like throw up. If an arm or two were to be numb then I might worry."
Diagnosis #1. Definitely not heart attack. Probably heart burn or acid reflux.
Treatment #1. Eat an ice cream sandwich in hopes it would help to ignore or remove the taste of throw up.

Medical Problem #2. I mentioned to Susan that I have been having an eye problem. My left eye is having random spasms. I have been chalking it up to stress but it has gotten progressively worse over the past few months and furthermore, it is extremely annoying.
Diagnosis #2. Eye twitching is definitely extremely annoying and possibly linked to stress or overuse.
Treatment #2. Keep left eye closed and don't use it. It's worked so far but I keep getting funny looks and I have managed to get a few dates from some guys here at work who think I am winking at them everytime they walk by my office.

Medical Problem #3. This a problem we both complained about. We feel tired.
Diagnosis #3. Working is the pits and makes us tired
Treatment #3. Stop working and leave early.

As you can see, we have extensive knowledge when it comes to diagnosing medical issues.

Disclaimer: Since Susan or I have never been to medical school or have an M.D. behind our names, we cannot be held liable for any mis-diagnosis or mis-treatment. If you were stupid enough to take this seriously and come to us for advice, that is your own fault.